Ok then....

SO...

I currently sit here a mess and a half... I want to beg for help, and hope someone can help me out but I know it's futile. B/c the help I need only I can give myself, and as much as I may need others... I won't accept it, ever. So I'll remain this dark, confused, messy, shell of what once was a human forever, but I realized something...

Maybe, instead of fixing a lost cause, I should try to spend my life dedicated to helping others avoid the same mistakes I made. Teach parents not to let their children follow similar paths to me, or if they want to provide social outlets and learning centers, make it easier for others to avoid this path I follow, because anything that might be considered remotely similar... would suck, seriously would...

I figure if I can't fix my own self, and my own past... Maybe I can fix others' tomorrow you know?